Remember the Farmers!

Adventure summaries and teaser texts for the first three scenarios from the "Remember the Farmers" series. All of the below are written by Steve Pearce, the author of the series.

Remember the FarmersONW1-06 scenario detailsAdventure summary
Rest in PeaceONW2-04 scenario detailsAdventure summary
To Hell & BackTeaser text part 1Teaser text part 2
To Hell & BackONW3-05 scenario detailsAdventure summary

ONW1-06 "Remember the Farmers" Summary

A scattering and smattering of words from Albie Scrofulan, master weed merchant, purveyor of same to the highest and lowest of Onnwal.

"Sornhill is giving me the heebie jeebies. It's all to do with those adventuring hardmen that did for Leviticus of Scant. And you know how I feel about him."

Albie punctuates with a great big black wodge of weed laced spit.

"It was a great day to see him in front of the Court of Onnwal up here in Sornhill. A great day out though he was a right cocky sod till the end. The only time he lost his cocky grin was when they chopped his head off. I'm sure the Wreckers (or whatever they call themselves or whoever those fellows are - because I know absolutely nothing) would have had him smiling out from other orifices in short order. But it was Lady Relaster that got Leviticus and a bit of old fashioned law was laid down. It was a recently decent day (I took a picnic) and there was that Sword of Remembrance handed out. Beauty of a sword. Lot of work went into that they say by Onrulf. Possibly his finest work. They say that a few others had a hand in it as well. Still, whole town has been on edge since then. It's almost as if Sornhill is haunted."

"So there's loads of jumpy priests after that. Some of them fellows had been in some right rum company. Some bumpkin priests from out of town rolled in. Them Zilchans do keep some strange company these days. And a right rum cove name of Kallarn was in with them. Now he sails as close to the wind as any sort I've ever known. Not that I look to associate with such fellows of course. Honest as the day is long that's me. Anyway Kallarn has gone they say. Off down to Northanchor or maybe Irongate if stories are true."

"Rumour is loads of different fellows are after him. Scarlet Scum for one but Temple folks are also taking an interest as well. And of course those Wreckers - though who they are I'd love to know. What it's about, I have no idea. Though I did hear a little rumour that some Onnwal fellows had been asking about poison. Well Kallarn's always been known for that. That's a murky business. I had one of them Glaives in here one time buying snuff. We got round to the subject as you do and he was scorching the walls with his words."

"But let's finish on a nice note. Them adventurers did talk about a nice old lady new to Onnwal called Granny. Sounds like she was settling down here with her family they say. I've heard she might be one for the chewing weed herself from what them adventurers say. Though they don't half spin some tales. Said she was nine foot tall."

"Anyway, been gassing on, how about you buy something? I've got weed for smoking, weed for chewing, weed to stick up your nose and I've even got some that's good for piles. If you catch my drift. Because that's where you can stick it if you don't buy something!"

ONW2-04 "Rest in Peace" Summary

A scattering and smattering of words from Albie Scrofulan, master weed merchant, purveyor of same to the highest and lowest of Onnwal.

"Well there I was at the Church of Zilchus. Once a veritable monument to the church, now you go to a converted warehouse. How are the mighty fallen. I was there in my capacity as professional busy-body and cultured man about town."

Albie punctuates this with a great big black wodge of weed laced spit.

"It's been a bit of a do. The water is running with black stains just like my spittle there. Some say the water tastes acrid like ashes. Me, I don't drink the water, haven't done for forty years and I don't intend to start now. Some of them adventuring chaps said they saw the same thing in Greyhawk a while ago. Said they solved it in no time at all - well I hope they have the same luck as the townsfolk are right jumpy."

"It's all to do with them druids. I can't stand them myself. Never know where you stand with a druid. Anyway I was at the Church of Zilchus and they were having a service for some druid named Evandell. It wasn't no open casket event though as they had no body. Druid from the Rieuwood of Sunndi had come along to say some words. She was a right scruffy olven oik. Boy she did some words though! Fair scorched the walls she did. I was sat near some of the church hierarchy. Not too close though because you never know what you might catch."

"I came in behind some fellow called Damar from the Osprem church. He had the most stunning young woman on his arm. Well I thought so - she had all the curves but had this half veil across her face. When I caught sight of her face under this half veil I revised my opinions sharpishly. She looked like a mummy without the bandages. Damar called her Landress but she said for him to forget that name. Landress was a name of beauty and that was no more. Her name now is Mazikeen. She didn't say what that meant."

"Anyway back to the druid. She said she had channelled with an Elephant of the Druidic Circle. Bloody strange if you ask me but who am I to question. She laid into the Onnwalon churchmen. She started off accusing them of betraying Evandell. She said the land had said that not only was he allowed to go to his death against the Flamefather but also he had been attacked by fools of Onnwal. Onnwal had not done enough."

"For her then to be told by Zamiel that she must look to her priests for treachery was too much. By then she was getting in a right lather like a wolverine with a boil on its bum as my old dad would say. Zamiel, that Zilchan priest, almost fell of his pew when she went on about how the Church knew that there was a traitor in their midst. He was looking daggers at her but then again he does that to most. He's a miserable sod; I've no time for him."

"The druid's tone then changed. It became almost mocking. She says that Evandell had agreed to help clear up the mess - the stinking blackness that was left behind in the Pool. Now he will not be able to do this. She went on about how that Nature will not suffer this and that Onnwal need clean its own mess up."

"That tirade put me off druids. I also heard from some military types that some fool adventurers let some hochebi run around free. There's one born every minute. That Brotherhood lot can come up with some very clever plans but all it needs is some adventuring types to outdo them. Letting hochebi live - they are either fools or collaborators."

Another mighty wodge of spit is launched on its way.

"There's only one set of adventurers that I have any time for. It is the Vengermen of Onnwal, them folks with the Sword of Remembrance. That sword looked good when it was made by Onrulf but to be honest the Vengermen must spend half their lives polishing it given the shine of its edge now. A couple were at the service. Poor fellows can hardly stand. They walk like spraggle-legged ducks. It's like they are puppets but with two people pulling the strings. Vengeance for the Farmers, that's one issue that unites all Onnwal. From Wreckers to nobles no one can argue with that cause and expect to keep their teeth. I'd buy them a drink myself and I'm the most tight-fisted git in all of Onnwal."

ONW3-05 "To Hell & Back" Teaser Text, Part 1

Somewhere in Onnwal, with three men of import.

Though this interlude is clearly not within the gift of characters to know, it will set the scene for what follows.

In a smoky, cramped room with a few candles for light, three men plot. A well-worn map lies exposed on the desk.

LD speaks loudly while planting a calloused finger upon the map.
"We have the three of them placed here, so Z tells us. I propose we take three ships crammed to the gunnels with the Free State Marines and we beat upon the three until our weapons are caked in their blood. I have the men ready, though they know not for what. The Free State Marines would go to Hell if we asked them."

Z speaks in a weary monotone,
"It is true that our information puts the three there. That was a little time ago but it was very reliable. It was clearly Obadiah, a monk of the Brotherhood, who has hitched his wagon to the church of Pyremius. Documents from Leviticus show him to be present at the Burning. The second is more sinister. Martoch was clearly creator of the devil dogs and we mark him as the macabre individual who was making such copious notes at the Burning. Our information though gives him great status amongst the wizardly kind. He is a power and we should respect the danger he presents. Finally we have the instigator, the leader, Kiran Gronas, or as many know him, Flamefather. His powers are considerable. That is what you oppose. You would suffer many losses but with good tactics you should take Obadiah and perhaps the wizard Martoch. That greatly depends on how well you can prevent his magic. Without his magic he will be weak. I suspect the Flamefather to be somewhat similar but he may withstand the physical assault better.

S speaks rapidly with little emotion,
"Plan is sound but it is denied."

LD springs almost to attention and his voice, quivering, requests,
"I ask for permission to speak freely."

In a serious tone, S replies,
"Of course, though you have no need to ask. The day I refuse is the day that you know we are lost."

LD sinks a little but barks out,
"I will speak plainly then. We need a victory. Though I am not one given to sentimentality or emotion, I understand morale. I know what passions the Burning gave to the people. Remember the Farmers stirred us to Revolution. We need that spirit again. Yes, we would lose some of the Marines but the prize would be worth it. It would give heart to even the most jaundiced if we were to bring the head of one of the three on a pole back to Onnwal. I'd gladly dance down the road with it, for it would stir the folk. We have to act."

S pauses for a moment then finds voice,
"You are correct, and yet it cannot be. We are too weak. We are perilously weak. We cannot afford to lose a single Marine never mind the possible loss of a ship. We have to cling to what we have and hope that our strength can grow once more. As much as I would want to, I must not sanction this."

Z interjects,
"There are always other ways. I believe I can provide a way in for a small number. It is information we need as much as anything. And to kill even any of the three would be a victory but I would suspect similar celebration regards the Disappeared. There is that aspect unfolding here. It would require the services of the Travellers."

LD snorts,
"Those folk who by some chance happen to visit Greyhawk or the Far North but just get back to help us against the Brotherhood. I just hope they are never late. Yes, use them for they are expendable. The Travellers, the very phrase brings a smile to my face."

Z smiles wryly,
"Then I'll need a ship and a brave captain. I recommend we tell no one else. Do I have leave to proceed?"

S says simply, "Proceed."

ONW3-05 "To Hell & Back" Teaser Text, Part 2

Somewhere not in Onnwal, with two men of import.

Though this interlude is clearly not within the gift of characters to know, it will set the scene for what follows.

In a private chamber of stone and little decoration, an old man has audience with one much younger who wears the face of the devil on his armour. Both wear fine robes of scarlet hue. The younger is in his early thirties. His head is shaved and his skin looks like sandpaper in both colour and texture. His pupils are like tiny black flames dancing within his blue-green eyes.

The other is simply old and bent as the younger stands upright and confident; the younger is almost radiating his divine power. F speaks, but his words are almost a challenge, "By your command, I am here."

Within seconds the pictures changes as the old man moves as if the world itself had stopped and only he were allowed to proceed. F is now kneeling as the old man's right hand has seemed to meld with the other's face and pulled him down before him. The old man speaks slowly,

"Flamefather, you should feel honoured. There are few these days that would have stirred me to the physical act. I trust you recognise the grip. It is a favourite of mine. I try and teach all of my disciples it. The disfiguring strike is a most excellent discipline. As you might clearly feel, it can remove half your face if done just right. That is usually sufficient for most purposes. I taught it Obadiah but he seems more your toy than mine nowadays."

"But to business, I have always understood the great tension for our clerical brothers. To be devoted to a god and yet to be within the Brotherhood, those two can be hard to reconcile. That is understood. You are highly regarded as one with great ambition and energy. You have gone very far. You were permitted to see the sensitive sources from within the Onnwalon inner circle. To act upon it though was not smart. That was not your decision to make. Hence our moment together to talk. To be precise, it is more monologue than dialogue. I care not for any protestations or promises. You will be judged by your actions whether for or against the Brotherhood. That will decide your fate. Bring more converts back like the one you did recently and we will be pleased."

The old man lets go, leaving the younger with his face a mass of bruises. Flamefather smiles contritely and leaves.

"To Hell and Back" begins here...

ONW3-05 "To Hell & Back" Summary

A scattering and smattering of words from Albie Scrofulan, master weed merchant, purveyor of same to the highest and lowest of Onnwal.

"Well there I was sitting down by the docks of Longbridge when I saw a right sight. 'Twas the good ship Resplendent coming in. There was whooping and hollering like some wild Flan spear dance. There was the usual high jinks you get whenever you let loose those adventuring types though how they got that miserable git Zamiel of Zilchus involved I'll never know. Any roads it were a damn fine show. Lost children returned, even that Zilchan had a smile on his face and the adventurers don't even come out for a bow or the usual adulation they so crave."

"But there's the secret. Now I'm not one to gossip as it's all a bit hush-hush like. However I can put two and two together. So let your old uncle Albie tell what the nobles don't want you to know."

Albie punctuates this with a great big black wodge of weed laced spit and adopts his best airs'n'graces accent.

"Let us review, case in point, the events of the previous weeks. I was aware by the huge reduction in volume consumed of Irongate Ale that the Free State Marine must be off doing something. Not long after that substantial dip in my profit margin, I see the leader of the Free State Marine dancing a stupid jig down the main street. Now he looked like a total pillock so I think we can assume the Free State lads have done a good turn. One ship comes in with rescued children. That comes under the heading of damn fine deed to my mind. Now we note that the adventurers are so embarrassed that they don't even come out for a bow. I put it to you it is clear that the Free State Marine rescued them kids and the adventurers played their usual silly buggers as they have said no word of it."

"There was capture of some Lieutenant of the Brotherhood and one of that adventuring shower was in the frame for some one on one brutality. They aren't all bad. Sometimes with these death or glory challenges, you do get the odd scumbag who goes away to shine his sword for a couple of minutes. I'm proud to say none of our brave lads and lasses have done anything like that. I tell you they would never ever hear the last of it. I'd pin a tail on them and call them a kobold and I'd be using a bloody gargantuan pin."

"Talking of putting a shine on a sword, I saw a couple of the Vengermen walking round with the Sword of Remembrance. I'm not sure how but the Smith Prince must have done something special with that as it seems to get shinier and sharper every time I see it. The Vengermen looked a bit sharper themselves if you know what I mean. For the longest time they looked like lads who'd found a silver and lost a gold. Now they all look like they dropped a copper but found platinum. It all ends well in the end as my old mum would say."

"Regardless of owt else, the children were a sight to behold. A couple looked as if they had a couple too many pints of Irongate brew themselves. All distant and lost looking, they were. I saw them but they were taken off sharpish to the Church of Zilchus. The rest were going back to their families. They were a bit strung out, it's fair to say. A couple of weeks with their old Granny should set them right. Granny will take right good care of them - she loves her children - loves them to death. I tell you one of them looked a right oily bugger. He had them staring eyes. Anyway I'm sure when he's back in the bosom of his family, he'll be fitting in."

"And to cap it all, some of the rumours I've heard about some of the things you see. Sailors telling me of a huge olven whale out at sea and a flying insect woman in the Headlands. I'd say there's been a bit too much imbibing of the good stuff."

"And finally, I did hear from some folks that we had some other returnees from the Brotherhood. Supposedly they escaped from the Brotherhood. They walked back through the jungle living on a diet of fingers and came back to Onnwal."

Another mighty wodge of spit is launched on its way.

"Traitors, the lot of them. As Wenta is my favourite lady, their minds are with the Scarlet scum. I wouldn't drink a pint if they bought it for me. I tell you all, it'd be best to have nothing to do with them."

This page last updated: 13th October 2008
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